Being my own BFF is kind of like being on a roller coaster. Sometimes I’ll do really well – I’ll get sleep, take my make-up off every night, work out, go on adventures. Other times, not so much. I struggle to get sleep, put my mental health first, or go out with friends.
“Being my own BFF is kind of like being on a roller coaster.”
This season in my life right now is one of those times where I’m not being my own best friend. And here’s why: I’ve listened to what my family wants for my life instead of following my own heart. What I mean by that is, my family wants me to stay in a major I hate (i.e. Web Development) because it is the more professional route, will earn me more money than YouTube, etc. But YouTube is my true and blue passion.
“I’ve listened to what my family wants for my life instead of following my own heart.”
Don’t get me wrong, I understand where they’re coming from and I even used to like Web Development back in the day (loved it actually). Until I went to college. College changed everything for me. I met people who loved their majors with all of their hearts, which made me re-examine what I truly loved. Newsflash: it wasn’t Web Development. That’s a terrifying feeling I was not prepared for. No one prepares you for the question of: What if I don’t like my major?
“I met people who loved their majors with all of their hearts, which made me re-examine what I truly loved.”
So I finished school, got my degree, and got my foot in the door at my first Web Development job because that’s what I was supposed to do. I got my year in at that job, and moved back home this past May to step into another Web Development job (all the while still loathing the subject).
Thankfully, I did start to be my own BFF again when I seriously began working on my YouTube channel this past March. Then I came to the realization that YouTube is my passion – not Web Development.
I love my family to death, but when I tried to communicate my change of heart it did not resonate very well. So, here I am – struggling to do what’s “right” or to work hard and follow my heart.
“Then I came to the realization that YouTube is my passion.”
For once in the past 5 years of hating my career path, I am choosing myself again. I am choosing to be my own BFF and work on my YouTube dream. I have made my mental health my number one priority. I’m working on my channel because it makes me truly happy. I am staying here until YouTube takes off so I can pay the bills, but I am ready to be unapologetically myself again.
I want to be fully happy again. I’m ready to take the risks, travel, meet people, and do what I absolutely love for a living. Being your own best friend can be hard, but worth it in the end. Put yourself first, work hard, and follow your dreams.
Amanda Waldrop is a 22 year old currently residing in the small town of Sturgis, MI. She loves travel, YouTube, concerts, and discovering live music. Amanda is an animal lover and basically cries at everything. Keeping Up with the Kardashians is her not-so-guilty pleasure. For more from Amanda, follow her on Twitter.