What constitutes a Lifelong Friend?

A lifelong friend is a hard thing to define, but Mary and Sienna come up with a good set of rules to help. It’s a friend from long ago that keeps coming back to you. As a good rule of thumb, it’s usually someone who you’ve been friends with for ten years or more. They’re usually around for those big events like birthdays, weddings, and baby showers. A lifelong friend doesn’t need to be constant. They can come in and out of your life.

Experience with Lifelong Friends

Sometimes a lifelong friend is someone you think of fondly from across the country. Other times it’s the person you try your hardest to meet up with every time they’re in town. A lifelong friend is someone you catch up with all the changes in your life since you last saw them. It’s not the same as making a new friend, it’s about refreshing and strengthening the bond you already have. Sometimes you might have disagreements, but you’ll have more time to think about it and find a resolution. In the end if you can still pick up from where you left off, and have it not be awkward, then it’s worth keeping in touch!

How to Maintain Lifelong Friendships

Maintaining a lifelong friend will require more work than a brand new friend. You’ll have to be honest if you want it to last. Those crazy white lies you tell in the first year will come back to bite you years later. Next, you have to work together to repair problems as they rise. Don’t leave problems to fester! Make time for your friend and show them appreciation for sticking around. Even if it’s just grabbing a cup of coffee once a year. Alter your expectations and don’t make assumptions. A lifelong friend can’t fulfil every need in your life, but they can be an important part of your larger tribe of friends. Finally, make sure to show compassion over cynicism. At the end of the day if your friend sees the world through a negative lens, it’s going to be hard to look forward to spending time together. Showing compassion will leave you and your friend feeling good. It’s perhaps the most important quality of a good friend!

Research

• 5 Ways to Maintain Lifelong Friendships by Lisa Firestone Ph.D. for Compassion Matters.
• 5 Secrets Of People With Lifelong Friends by Catherine Pearson for Huffington Post.
• When Friendship Hurts: How To Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, Or Wound You by Jan Yager Ph.D, ‍ISBN 9780743211451.

Tune in next week for Episode 11: What To Do When a Friend Ghosts You

Do you have a story about friendship? Good, bad, or ugly — we wanna hear it! Click here to learn more about submitting your story and you might just hear it in a future episode or featured on the blog!

Hosted by Mary Akemon and Sienna Mooney
Produced by Alex Papworth
Music by Max Wallace
Episode illustration by Maddy Vian